Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Met Gala 2016: Fashion Smackdown!! (Part 3)

The Met Gala 2016: Fashion Smackdown!! (Part 3)


Julie Macklowe killin it at the 2016 Met Gala
(All images courtesy of vogue.com unless otherwise stated)

Welcome back to the final installment of the Fashion Smackdown for the 2016 Met Gala! Let's dive right into our last critiques of outfits from the red carpet!
Zoe Kravitz

Right image courtesy of tomandlorenzo.com

Zoe Kravitz was spotted on the red carpet in this messy black bumblebee ensemble. Honestly, outfits like this baffle me. Why do stars spend thousands of dollars (this was Valentino) on these kinds of outfits? Oh, right, it's to keep up appearances and get publicity, even if it means landing on the Worst Dressed list. This one just might be one of the worst outfits I've EVER seen on a red carpet and to top it off, it's not even relevant to the theme of the night (fashion meets technology). The whole outfit is just screaming "hot mess" and honestly, this looks like one of those unnecessarily goth-ified Party City Halloween costumes (gothic princess, gothic cat, gothic Red Riding Hood, gothic...bumblebee?)

Anyways, this outfit just defies explanation. The only logical conclusion you can reach from this is that Zoe Kravitz's styling team was either drunk, high, or both, because this is an absolute DISASTER. First off, what even is that headpiece she's wearing? Was this a masked ball? Was there a parade? Was she mourning the death of Mardi Gras? The fact that she's wearing a lace mask is bad enough, but to top it off, there's lace above her head too?? The same messy tangle of black fuzz is on her shoes too. Did she buy them as part of a set or something? It looks like the remnants of a feather boa. Or maybe a tangle of pubic hair.

Next, the wings/bow tie she's apparently sporting on her back? What in the world?? It looks like someone burned a giant tissue and glued it onto the back of her dress and forgot to tell her. Or maybe it's a coal miner's washcloth.

Or maybe Zoe Kravitz's outfit is just too fashion-forward for us to see its merits in 2016, since the theme of the night was supposed to be "fashion meets technology". However, in 2016, I give her a 0/10 on this outfit!

Katy Perry
Image courtesy of eonline.com
Katy Perry apparently decided to pull this outfit out of the back of her closet, because it looks like it's covered in MOLD. Or maybe random debris that washed up ashore. Whatever the case may be, the random assortment of what look like bottle caps and washers is so busy and confusing that I just can't praise this dress at all. On top of that, the heavy black velvet next to the trash on her dress just adds to the mess of this whole outfit. To top it off (literally) Katy Perry's hair looks like something you'd see in the Addams family and the eerie eye makeup doesn't exactly help with that image. The elbow-length gloves make it even WORSE, they have finger cutouts? What is this, the 1980s? Sorrynotsorry, but if this is the "fashion of the future", I'm glad I was born in this century and not the next...

Lorde

Quirky as ever, Lorde poses for the camera at the 2016 Met Gala red carpet. It's been a while since I've heard anything from her, but she certainly chose a weird outfit for the "fashion meets technology" theme. Lorde, who used to be known for her quirky music and dark makeup, now looks like an overgrown ballerina trying to find Prince Charming like some odd anachronism. True, she looks brighter and more cleaned up than she normally does on red carpets, but I'm not seeing the theme of the night at all anywhere in her outfit. Props to her for taking a risk and wearing a plunging top, something I'm not used to seeing on Lorde, but this dress just baffles me, honestly. She does look good, but it's just a weird choice for the Met Gala, no?

Lauren Bush Lauren

I guess Lauren Bush Lauren didn't get the memo, because she looks like some kind of Amish nun in her dress. Nowhere in her outfit do I see fashion meeting technology, unless she's supposed to be some kind of time traveler. Who even knows why she chose to wear this on the red carpet? Honestly, she looks like she's ready to churn some butter in this outfit or give a sermon. This ultraconservative, ultra-weird look just doesn't fit in at the Met Gala....or any red carpet, for that matter.....

Amber Heard
Image courtesy of justjared.com
Amber Heard looks STUNNING in this dress. She looks like she could be the new Oscars trophy in this liquid gold ensemble. Her soft waves combined with her not-quite-red lipstick definitely give off a classic Hollywood vibe with a modern twist. But I wish she had chosen jewelry that wasn't the same shade of gold as her hair or dress - maybe emerald would have made her eyes stand out more and provide more contrast to the dress so she didn't look like a solid gold trophy. But other than that, I think her outfit is stunning. I can sort of see how it's tied in to technology (it does look like liquid plated gold), so I'll count this as a good choice for the night!

Jaden Smith and Willow Smith

Of course, no awards show is complete without some horrendous outfits. As usual when it comes to these two, I am very confused. They look like they were playing dress-up in mama Jada's closet and were running late to the Met Gala and decided to just show up. Except they pulled out clothes from 1980s Jada's closet and thought they were chic? These oversized jackets really don't do the siblings any justice whatsoever, and neither does anything else they're wearing, for that matter. The shoes are pretty standard, so there's really nothing to say there, but surprisingly, this ensemble ISN'T the result of a random dumpster dive in Jada's attic. Willow is actually wearing Chanel and Jaden is wearing Louis Vuitton. Maybe these clothes are ultra-vintage clothes? Whatever the case may be, these two are as eccentric as ever and somehow considered at the forefront of fashion (oookay). Honestly, I don't get their style. Maybe it's """too advanced""" for me, but as someone who's grouped in with them in the same generation, I really have to give these two a giant thumbs down for their outfit choices.

Julie Macklowe

Quite possibly the most relevant outfit of the night, Julie Macklowe's outfit definitely takes the cake at the 2016 Met Gala. Unlike many other celebs' outfits, hers epitomizes the theme of the night: fashion meets technology. I feel like Julie Macklowe would be a great guest to any party; I mean, she actually listens to what the host has to say. If you're going to have a theme, what's the point if no one goes along with it? Thankfully, people like Julie Macklowe exist, and they're willing to put in the time and effort to show up and show out.

In this all-metallic ensemble, Macklowe really looks like a robot. While it's not very flattering and looks very bulky, it definitely feels very fashion-forward and modern. With a less severe hairdo, this could have been more chic, but anyways, Julie Macklowe absolutely KILLED the theme of the night, so props to her! 

Lisa Marie Falcone

Finally, to wrap up the night, one last outrageously exposing outfit. Madonna thought she stole the show once again, but nope! Lisa Marie Falcone definitely takes the cake in this...bubble wrap-ish outfit. This dress looks like a combination of pins and packing material, but I guess it's fashion-forward. I definitely haven't seen anything like this, so props to her for picking something original. I'd expect to see something like this on Nicki Minaj or Britney Spears or someone younger, but the 45 year-old pulls this off just fine. Sure, it's crazy, but can you see fashion heading towards this direction? I can, so this outfit gets a thumbs up from me for fitting in with the theme of the night. Sort of. Maybe I'm just cutting her too much slack because of her age, but whatever. For 45, she looks GREAT.

And with that, we finish our Fashion Smackdown of the 2016 Met Gala outfits. What do you think of them? Who do you think had the best outfit of the night? Let me know in the comments down below! 

See you around for the next Fashion Smackdown! :)

-S.

Newest Couple: Kylie Jenner and PartyNextDoor??

Image courtesy of ibtimes.co.uk
Another day, another new celebrity romance budding. This time, it involves newly-single Kylie Jenner and rapper PartyNextDoor, who have been flirting ever since Kylie broke up with rapper Tyga (she sure has a thing for rappers, am I right?), citing a need to focus more on her lip kit line as the reason for the breakup. Right, she seems to certainly be focusing on """lip kits""" with PartyNextDoor so soon after her breakup.

Despite sources assuring media outlets that the two are NOT dating, I think otherwise. Considering the Kardashians' tendency to lie to the media and cover things up (especially with Kylie and the lip injections, dating Tyga, etc.), I think we can safely say that these two ARE dating, and in fact, might have even contributed to Kyga's breakup. To summarize, they've already been spotted out on dates together and have featured each other in flirty Snapchat stories. The two have reportedly been friends for about two years now, so it's not like PartyNextDoor came out of nowhere, as most people seem to think. However, the fact that these two have been spotted together A LOT over the past few weeks indicates that there's definitely something more than friendship going down between them.

Kylie, who is no stranger to using Snapchat to basically document her entire life, has featured many of her friends in her Snapchat stories, from Willow Smith to Hailey Baldwin. But PartyNextDoor hasn't been seen in her snaps until very recently. Whatever you make of that, they've clearly been spending a lot of time together, and this change might be good for Kylie. Kylie, who is 18 years old, is much closer in age to PartyNextDoor (22) than she is to Tyga (28). Plus, PartyNextDoor doesn't have a son or a baby mama (as far as we know), and we all know that that would be a lot less stressful for the youngest Jenner.

Whatever the case may be, I think we'll find out soon enough if the two are dating or not. I'm willing to bet my college tuition on it, though (after all, PartyNextDoor DID just serenade Kylie in his latest snap story...).

But what do you guys think? Be sure to comment and vote in the poll to the side! :)

-S.

Thoughts on Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian

Image courtesy of okmagazine.com
The overview:
By now, all of us know about the drama that's gone on behind the scenes of Kourtney and Scott's relationship. Despite the Kardashians' efforts to keep it under wraps, this past summer, we all found out that yes, those cheating rumors about Scott were true when he was spotted with his ex-boo, Chloe Bartoli, with Kourtney nowhere to be seen.

Image courtesy of intouchweekly.com
Scott, a father of three, has also famously suffered from drug addiction, often inciting Kourtney's wrath when he goes ham. He's also been noticeably absent from his children's lives as a plethora of tabloid shots show poor Kourtney Kardashian pushing strollers alone while Scott's caught red-handed partying it up somewhere across the globe.

My take:
To Kourtney: don't pull a Hillary Clinton and try to keep Scott around for whatever publicity you can get out of him. I genuinely believe that you are a good mother, and your kids would definitely benefit from having a real father who's actually AROUND long enough to celebrate their birthdays and important milestones with them instead of posting about cars on their birthday. Scott is a completely immature, irresponsible father who chooses to surround himself with enablers and constantly makes the same mistakes over and over again. Yes, addiction is hard to beat - there's no denying that. But he consistently makes the same poor decisions in parallel situations and lands himself in trouble with the paprazzi, his friends, and the people he loves. He has come back crying to you multiple times over the years, and you have taken him in despite his refusal to change and his lack of commitment to you. I'm surprised that you're still trying to sustain your partnership with him despite everything, and good for you for trying to help him. But at a certain point, I think that it's just not worth it anymore. The two of you were so in love when you first dated (just watch episodes from the first season of KUWTK and see how Scott treated you like a queen), but now, your relationship has just disintegrated to that of a strict, disappointed mother and her rebellious, intractable son.

And speaking of sons, how do you think your kids will feel, hearing other kids tell them about what their parents have said about Scott? Undoubtedly, people will gossip and it will eventually reach your children. And undoubtedly, your children will be ashamed of their father. You can only tell them that he's on "vacation" or a "business trip" for so long before they find out the truth from someone else. What will you do then? 

Staying with Scott is unfair to both you and your kids. They deserve to grow up with a supportive father figure who will be with them in the most crucial years of their lives - a father figure that can set a good example for them and teach them the proper morals and guide their growth into good, productive members of society. But by staying with Scott instead of dating someone else more reliable, you're taking all of these things away from your children. True, a father figure isn't necessary in order to grow up well, but you can't deny that there's a reason why the phrase "daddy issues" exists.

And so I urge you to rethink your position on Scott. Time after time, he comes back into your life only to drain you emotionally and financially, and hurts those you love. I say cut the cord and realize that he's a grown man who is responsible for his own actions. A man who, yes, needs help, but who cannot be helped by you.

Wishing you the best,
-S.

A Big Kardashian Mess: Rob and Blac Chyna


Image courtesy of usmagazine.com
The overview: 
As many of you already know, Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna are having a baby together and are (thankfully) engaged. However, their situation is far from ideal, as Rob, the notorious black sheep of the family, is dating little sister Kylie's ex-man's baby mama. To clear that up, Kylie Jenner's ex, Tyga, had a son (King Cairo) with Blac Chyna. Since Tyga is King's father, he won't be out of the picture anytime soon, and neither will Blac Chyna, who seems to be hellbent on becoming part of the Kardashian family. Chyna has already legally changed her name to "Kardashian" and has released a set of emojis similar to Kim K's "Kimojis" called "ChyMojis". Seems like things won't get any less awkward for 18 year-old Kylie Jenner, who's famously feuded with Chyna over Instagram, any time soon...

My take:
Either Chyna is the best gold digger ever or she's legitimately in love with Rob Kardashian and the Kardashian family. They aren't even married yet, and already, Chyna's using the Kardashian influence to release her ChyMojis and has already filed the necessary documents to legally change her last name to "Kardashian". By preying on the black sheep of the family, Chyna's successfully found her way into the gold mine that being part of the family seems to be, but she'll be kept at an arm's distance by the rest of the family, as Rob has been. Though Kris Jenner and her daughters have been keeping up appearances in the media with their public declarations of support for Rob, we all know that on KUWTK, they've aired (possibly fake) fights between the family and Rob over his decision and that it can't be easy for the youngest Jenner to deal with her ex-man and her ex-man's baby mama becoming a permanent part of her life.

If I were Rob, I'd watch my back: Chyna's already had a baby with another man after a very short-lived public relationship and she doesn't seem above hitting below the belt when it comes to comebacks on social media. The fact that she picked a fight with your 18 year-old younger sister points to some immaturity and lingering feelings over her last heartbreak. In addition, she's 28 years old, a full TEN years older than Kylie, yet still has beef with her. So much for being the bigger person. Honestly, if I were Rob, I wouldn't want to put up with that for the rest of my life. Can you imagine the internal drama going on within the family right now, even before they're officially married?? That will last for at least a few years as the two settle down, but my advice to Rob is to keep your eyes open for anything sketchy on Chyna's part. From all of her activity on social media, it doesn't seem like Blac Chyna is even over Tyga, especially after posting those messages between them on Instagram. You need someone who doesn't cling onto the past and wants to live a mature, happy life. But to each their own. I may not know all the details, but I have a feeling that this relationship might sink instead of swim.

-S.

Monday, May 30, 2016

The Met Gala 2016: Fashion Smackdown!! (Part 2)


Kate Hudson at the 2016 Met Gala
(All images courtesy of vogue.com unless otherwise stated)

Welcome back to this year's Met Gala fashion smackdown! It's been a while, but let's continue with the highlights from the 2016 Met Gala. The theme this year was "fashion meets technology".

Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez's 2016 Met Gala outfit was overwhelming...ly disappointing. For the 23 year-old Disney-turned-pop-star singer who's been showing up to red carpets and events like the Victoria's Secret fashion show donning sexy, plunging V-neck outfits that showed (in)decent amounts of skin, this middle-aged polka dot dress is very lackluster. On top of that, the leather Darth Vader-like vest and black rubber boots don't help with the confusion of this outfit. Again, the theme was "fashion meets technology"; maybe Selena's wardrobe team has been so tired of trying to keep up with her constant appearances and simply flipped to a random page in Housewives Magazine and picked her outfit from there. Whatever the case was, I think this outfit was definitely lacking (and dare I say half-assed) on Team Gomez's part. This weirdly proportioned, oddly patterned outfit gets a downvote from me.

Rita Ora 

Calvin Harris's former flame, Rita Ora, showed up at the red carpet in this metallic feathered dress and I have to say, I LOVE it. The cutouts are perfect on this dress, showing skin in all the right places. The metallic coating on the feathers are an interesting detail that add to a futuristic effect, but the bottom of the dress really looks like a feather duster. Though I wish Rita's styling team had added the metallic finish to the bottom of the dress, Rita still looks put together, sexy, and relevant in this dress.

Taylor Swift
Image courtesy of time.com
The purported queen of pop showed up the red carpet in this metallic, lizard-ish ensemble complete with black strappy heels and dark lipstick. This is definitely a difference from the usual fashionista-meets-country-girl style we usually see from TSwift, but not in a good way. I like the overall shape of her dress and yes, it is relevant to the "fashion meets technology" theme, but wait, are those SCALES on her dress?? And what's with the 90's three-tiered hem? The bottom of her dress honestly reminds me of my middle school days (before middle schoolers were wearing thongs and Victoria's Secret bras):
Epic Threads Little Girls' Mix & Match Three-Tiered Scooter Skirt
(Maybe she was just feeling nostalgic and longing for her pre-fame days)
Image courtesy of macys.com
Anyways, Taylor's outfit just looks weird, along with her dark makeup and in particular, her dark lipstick. It's just a little too gothic in my opinion for the Met Gala, especially considering the theme of the year. And with that jarring platinum blonde hair, she really looks like Gossip Girl-days Taylor Momsen!!

Truthfully, the only part of her outfit that I like is the shoes. Strappy heels are very in right now, and with any other dress, these shoes could have made an entire outfit complete. Sorry, TSwift, but this outfit, minus the shoes, was a complete disaster!

Poppy Delevigne
Image courtesy of teenvogue.com
WOW. This outfit is certainly the definition of BUSY, but Cara's older sister manages to pull it off. It looks like a combination of a video game tribal warrior's scanty armor and a sparkly chandelier all coated with a layer of rusting Forever21-quality jewelry. The sheer-in-all-the-right-places dress goes well with the theme of the event. Unlike Taylor Swift's dress, Poppy's metallic dress goes well with her dark makeup and dark lipstick because it has a darker hue. Overall, though, this dress is gorgeous and fierce and I give it a thumbs up!

Blake Lively 

It's hard to believe that Blake Lively gave birth just last year in this dress. The mother of one looks absolutely drop-dead gorgeous in this pink floral dress that reminds me of the good old days of Gossip Girl. She really earns the title of Serena van der Woodsen in this stunning gown, though there's something to be said for following the theme of an event every once in a while. This dress would have fit in well with the other dresses at last year's Met Gala, but oh well, we'll cut the new mother a break. For the eternal prom queen and her gorgeous gown, we'll give this outfit a thumbs up! :)

Zendaya
Image courtesy of mtv.com
This outfit is truly befitting for the chameleon of the red carpet, Zendaya. No matter what the event, Zendaya never fails to amaze me with her varied tastes, and her choice of dress and hairstyle is no exception here. Sporting a Spock-like haircut with a metallic gold dress, Zendaya definitely stuck to the theme of the night, "fashion meets technology". Personally, I'm not a fan of the lizard/scale-type pattern that a few other celebs have also sported, but unlike Taylor Swift's outfit, Zendaya's dress still works with the pattern because she stuck to one pattern and didn't overwhelm us with too many different styles combined in one. Her light lipstick was also a good way to balance the dark aspects of this outfit, so overall, I commend her for her outfit choice!

Lupita Nyong'o
Image courtsey of Getty Images
The spotlight of many red carpets to date, Lupita Nyong'o was quite the spectacle at the 2016 Met Gala. The first thing you have to notice, of course, is her hair. It's like something out of a Dr. Seuss book or straight out of Lady Gaga's wig closet, but it certainly has futuristic vibes to it (though I don't know if I'd still have hair if I had to do my hair like with heat and hairspray that every morning). Her dress is fabulous though, complete with an elegant but low V-neck and a sheer, shimmery train (and is it just me or does she look like a mermaid in this dress?) Overall, she looks great, despite having what look like Christmas tree baubles made of hair on top of her head.

Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen
Image courtesy of eonline.com
WTF? The Olsen twins showed up to the red carpet looking like it was very, very cold. The two are wearing what appear to be fur coats and full-length dresses. Without the press in the back wearing knee-length attire, you'd think that the Met Gala took place in the middle of January. Their makeup also looks a little severe and contributes to the overall just-came-back-from-Siberia vibe they're giving off. I'm confused as to where "fashion meets technology" comes in with this outfit, and personally, I think this outfit is just too heavy and too dark for this event. I'm not entirely convinced that the twins didn't just step off of a plane coming back from Antarctica because this isn't really their normal attire; their Met Gala outfits were much better last year, though just as dark and even a tad gothic. Well, for these eccentric twins, I guess these outfits are just part of another day, but personally, I'll have to give them a thumbs down for their weirdly out of place outfits.

Emma Watson
Image courtesy of tomandlorenzo.com
This odd contraption is Emma Watson's fully recycled 2016 Met Gala dress. I love the concept of a dress made entirely of recycled plastic bottles, but I wish the design were more slick. This dress looks like it can't make up its mind about being a pantsuit or a bustier, and then there's the train in the back to consider as well. This outfit is very bottom-heavy, and with nearly-horizontal shoulder straps, it looks like it's about to fall off in a sort of messy, sleazy way (which is odd to say when Emma Watson is involved, right?) Though I love the fact that this dress is environmentally friendly and promotes a great cause, I just can't get behind the design of it and the overall look. Sorry, but this one's a no from me.

Kate Hudson
Image courtesy of tomandlorenzo.com
As usual, Kate Hudson is absolutely stunning on the red carpet. Her dress is regal yet sexy but also reminds me of paper-mache (does anyone else get the urge to just PEEL it?). Her dress looks like a very futuristic ice queen's wedding gown, and I have to commend her for wearing such a fashion-forward dress at the Met Gala...although the bottom portion of her dress looks like an assortment of plastic scimitars...The cutouts are unusual, but definitely add to the overall edginess of this outfit. The contrast between her wavy hair and sharp, angular dress perfectly balances this outfit and I have to say, this dress might just be one of my favorites from the Met Gala!

Tune in again next time for another fashion smackdown, where we'll continue with part 3 of the Met Gala fashion review! :)

-S.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

BREAKING: Kylie Jenner and Tyga SPLIT!!

Image courtesy of hollywoodlife.com

Yup, that's right folks! Hollywood's most notorious nearly-underage couple has finally called it quits! Rumor has it that Kylie initiated the split because she wanted to focus on her lip kit line and Tyga was high-key salty about it, but continues to praise her in interviews. 

Now, I won't go into all the details about their relationship (you can see a full timeline here at vh1: http://www.vh1.com/news/3981/kylie-jenner-tyga-relationship-timeline/), but I will put in my two cents about this relationship. As most sane people guessed from the start, this relationship was doomed to fail. Kylie had just turned 17 when rumors about a budding romance with Tyga started popping up, which we can assume means that they were dating or at the very least flirting and interested in starting a relationship by then. After all, most rumors have some truth to them.

Like most 17 year-olds, Kylie dated the rapper on and off and finally, after she turned 18 and pictures of the two had been flooding the internet for months, they finally confirmed that they were dating (and probably having sex...thanks to Tyga's no doubt Kylie-inspired "Ice Cream Man" song). Awkwardly enough, the two were 8 years apart in age, but Tyga claimed Kylie was mature for her age (if you watch KUWTK or follow Kylie's snapchat stories, you might wonder where that claim comes from) and that the two were solid. Sure, Kylie is a celebrity and she largely handles her own finances, but does that mean she was ready to live the life of a 25 year-old with a child and psycho baby mama? Absolutely not. Especially given her Instagram war with Blac Chyna...real mature, both of them.

My favorite moment in their attempt to pull the wool over the media's eyes was when their friends were interviewed about the couple. Kanye did a huge oops on a radio interview and publicly confirmed that Tyga loved Kylie and was smart to start dating her early on because she would be in high demand later in life (and at this point in time, the two were supposedly "just friends"). And of course, a whole slew of celebrities like Amber Rose and Drake publically blasted the two for their supposedly nonexistent and inappropriate relationship as well. On top of all of that, the two were posting pictures of each other on Instagram with lovey-dovey captions (totally platonic, right?), culminating in Tyga getting "Kylie" tattooed on his arm! Wow! Because that's just friendship at its finest. Really convincing. :) 

After all of that, they've finally gone their separate ways. We'll see if this breakup lasts, but personally, I think that if they want a lifelong relationship, they need to wait it out and see if they're still compatible years down the line, when both have hopefully matured. At 18, Kylie is just starting her adult life and Tyga is trying to jump-start his slowly but surely dwindling rap career. Personally, I'm relieved to hear that they've split.  After all the immature drama involving Blac Chyna and idealistic talk about possible marriage, this middle school-level relationship is finally OVER! 

Huzzah!
-S.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

The Met Gala 2016: Fashion Smackdown!! (Part 1)

Karlie Kloss at the 2016 Met Gala
(All images courtesy of vogue.com unless otherwise stated)

Another month, another event where celebrities convene and bask in the spotlight to maintain their fame. As always, the Met Gala presents the biggest names in Hollywood with the opportunity to show off their fashion sense and air out their drama (what's good, Jay-Z and Beyoncé) on the red carpet. This year's theme was fashion meets technology, an interesting theme after Anna Wintour famously threw a fit over celebrities' cellphone use at the event last year. Without further ado, let's review the most noteworthy outfits from the 2016 Met Gala in this year's Met Gala Fashion Smackdown! (In case you're wondering it's called a smackdown because I don't hold back :) )

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Hollywood's most egotistical power couple, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, showed up on the red carpet donning silver like a pair of robots...with jeans? Of course, like 99% of the dresses Kim wears nowadays, it's Balmain (pronounced Ball-Mahhhn). Regardless of whether she's got an endorsement, an obsession, or a personal debt to Olivier Rousteing, Kim's dress absolutely nails the theme of this year's Met Gala. It's a variation on the usual high-waisted long skirt and cleavage-enhancing top, not to mention sexy, chic, and futuristic, so unsurprisingly, she landed many of this year's best dressed lists.

Kanye, on the other hand, looks like he got ready in a rush and only brought half of his outfit. His jacket is, well, bedazzled at best, but with his ripped jeans and shit-suede shoes that probably cost more than my rent, he looks like a space cowboy. And ripped jeans on the red carpet? We all know you think you're some kind of fashion Jesus, but that's an absolute failure of a celebrity stylist's control over their client. Yeezy, you might as well be holding a pitchfork and posing for a 3016 remake of American Pastoral, because this outfit is horrendous.

On a more positive note, Kanye's wife is looking killer but his outfit, like his disheveled fashion line, is tanking his net worth.

Kylie Jenner

The youngest of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, like her older sister, is clad in (what else?) Balmain. This dress is surprisingly conservative for Kylie despite the body-length cutouts and is reminiscent of her gold ESPYs dress. The dress fits in nicely with the "fashion meets technology" theme and has the intricate see-through pattern that Balmain is so widely known for. Though Kylie had to endure a few scratches from the dress on her legs, according to her, this dress was worth it. In my opinion, Kylie looks great, albeit a little 40-ish instead of 18(and the dress leaves something to be desired when compared to Kim's).

Kendall Jenner
Image courtesy of teenvogue.com
Kendall, the model-fashionista-socialite wore a mosaic Balmain (of course) dress to this year's Met Gala. The cutouts remind me of Kendall's 2014 Billboard Music Awards outfit. She must really love showing off those obliques. As usual, she looks great, but there isn't much more to be said except that the design seems to be inspired by optical illusions and 80's pool tiles.


Beyonce

Image courtesy of cnn.com
The star of the night - Beyonce. Some might wonder where her man, Jay-Z, was, but as far as I'm concerned, their cheating scandal is a publicity stunt, so let's not have a cow over it. So now the real topic here: this dress. This pink latex dress looks like a mix between a sleeker version of Cinderella's ballgown and a condom cupcake. Compared to last year's skimpy bare-all dress, this dress is definitely more conservative and defined in shape. However, it's totally irrelevant to the theme ("fashion meets technology" for those of you who forgot it). Though her eyeshadow is too dark for this dress and the little beads look like whiteheads upon closer inspection, as usual, Beyonce looks great by pure merit of having a slamming body and a nice face.

Solange Knowles

Like last year's outfit, Solange's dress(?) this year absolutely baffles me. If wearing six giant Pringle-esque ruffles that hide your figure constitutes fashion nowadays, Solange is nailing it. Maybe the high chest-neck-waist (where does it even start?) ruffle is for cussing your brother-in-law out in secret. Or holding food that you ate just to be polite but spit out immediately. Or just confusing the general public. And did Solange wear a lemonade-yellow dress to show her sister some support or stir up more drama for their publicity stunt? Whatever the case may be, with her yellow latex tights, Solange won't have to worry about flashing anyone during an elevator brawl this time around.

Nicki Minaj

W.O.W. Where do I even begin? For starters, I guess we all know now that Nicki Minaj likes S&M and a little something extra in the bedroom. Compared to her surprisingly conservative red carpet outfits lately, this dress hails back to the good ol' Super Bass days when Nicki donned bubblegum-pink hair and neon lipstick. The outfit definitely shows off her assets, but unless the technology of the future is 50 Shades of Grey-style BDSM, this dress really doesn't fit with the theme at all. Booo.

Tyga

Usually, I don't critique men's outfits on the red carpet, because let's face it- they're pretty much all the same. But once in a while, you get someone like Harry Styles or Justin Bieber wearing an atrocious non-suit, non-tux outfit and it captures the media's attention (as well as our chagrin). Then, there's Tyga. Reportedly spatting with his still-barely-legal girlfriend, Kylie Jenner, Tyga showed up on the red carpet looking surly and...fuzzy? Though Tyga looks more put together than normal (his pants aren't three times the size of his thighs!), this outfit is pretty boring if you ignore the grey moldy-looking jacket. But props to Tyga for making it to the Met Gala and managing to match the theme...somewhat.

Lady Gaga

She's back! The age of foot-tall high heels and bedazzled bodysuits apparently isn't over, but no one does futuristic like Gaga. It's no wonder the pop diva revolutionized pop music as we know it with these kind of stunts. This outfit is very 2009 breakout Gaga and is reminiscent of her stage costumes. The black-and-silver combo with the big hair evokes the image of a KISS rocker. Personally, I always love to see Gaga wear something original and daring (dangerous!) on red carpets, but this outfit is just more of the same old Gaga. Still, I always appreciate a good throwback!

Karlie Kloss

Karlie Kloss looks absolutely stunning and in this original cutout gown. It's not often that you see a cutout gown that has the same design as almost every other red carpet dress out there, or one giant cutout that exposes half of the entire body. But this dress is sexy yet elegant and manages to show off some of Karlie Kloss's cleavage (center-boobage?) simultaneously. It's no wonder that she's one of Victoria's Secret's most prized Angels. Though her outfit doesn't seem to be particularly inspired by technology, if this dress is indicative of what fashion in the future looks like, it fits in well enough with the theme for me!

Joan Smalls
Image courtesy of justjared.com
At every Met Gala, Joan Smalls has absolutely slayed the red carpet, and this year seems to be no exception. Her silver, futuristic dress (with original cutouts, like Karlie's) perfectly match this year's theme of "fashion meets technology"- she looks like the sexiest Stormtrooper alive with that thigh-high slit.

Anna Wintour

For the editor of the most prominent fashion magazine around, Anna Wintour looks boring as hell. Like last year, her dress is ultra-conservative, polka-dotted, and arguably fashionable simply because she's the one wearing it. The fringe is interesting at best, and the gold veiny pattern over her chest isn't doing her aging appearance any favors. Her necklace appears gray and overworn, as if she doesn't have millions of dollars to update her closet. With the fringe and blunt haircut, Anna Wintour manages to look like a flapper girl's mother and a tablecloth at the same time. I get the feeling that she landed on a few best-dressed lists this year (or was just omitted) because everyone tiptoes around her out of fear of backlash from Vogue. Well, as a small-time blogger, I'll just say that if Anna Wintour ever sees this post, I'd like to ask her: is Editor-in-Chief of Vogue just your title or your actual job? Vogue sales must be dropping - no wonder why Vogue had to resort to featuring Kim and Kanye on its cover not too long ago. Needless to say, this dress was an utter disappointment and I look forward to the day when a more fashion-conscious editor steps up to the plate.

Jennifer Hudson
Image courtesy of usmagazine.com
Congratulations on your...wedding? With the long, dust bunny fluff train, drop earrings, and V-neck cutout, Jennifer Hudson's dress looks like the wedding dress she might have worn had Jason Derulo not bolted as soon as the word "marriage" was uttered. The only things that are missing in this picture are a man on her arm and a bouquet, but regardless, she looks fabulous. The form-fitting dress show off the weight loss advocate's curves well and the purple lipstick contrast well with the dress and keep this outfit from being yawn-worthy. In the end, if Hudson is showing off what Jason Derulo's missing, all the more power to her, but where does the theme of the night, technology, come in again?

Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik

Image courtesy of popsugar.com
It's hard to believe that this couple just started dating this year, but here they are now on the red carpet looking adorable together. Zayn clearly had fun with this year's theme and wore a bionic-looking silver arm while his girlfriend Gigi wore a veeery nearly sheer gray dress with a metallic top. The couple fit in well with the theme, but I wish Gigi had embraced it a little more to match her boyfriend's outfit. Regardless, this was a cute matching (sort of) combo, and I look forward to seeing these two on other red carpets.

Madonna
Image courtesy of tmz.com
Just like at last year's Grammy Awards, we can see here that Madonna has a thing for baring her butt. This outfit looks like a lacy-black-tribal-warrior-esque....HOT MESS!! It's way too busy with the jewelry, the nipple pasties (almost didn't notice those because this outfit has way too much going on), the thigh-high boots, the garter-esque stripes, etc. This is just too, too much for the red carpet, and I personally don't see where technology fits in with this theme. Maybe Madonna was just salty about not being invited back to Coachella after shoving her tongue down Drake's throat onstage, so she decided to boycott the theme. Oh, and just in case you forgot, Madonna is 57.


That's all for part 1 of this Fashion Smackdown! Stay tuned for part 2 :)

-S.